Anxiety # 1
Let’s talk about the big, scary, overwhelming feeling of anxiety.
The DSM-V defines various Anxiety Disorders including, but not limited to, Separation Anxiety, Selective Mutism, Phobias, Social Anxiety, Panic Disorders, and/or Generalized Anxiety. There are many ways in which excessive worry and fear presents itself. There are also many different reasons Anxiety Disorders debilitate or interfere with a person’s everyday functioning.
As with my other posts, I’m going to start off with some self-reflection questions.
Do you notice your brain goes to the worst-case-scenario thinking immediately when presented with a situation or problem?
Do you have a challenging time staying focused on the present moment without the intrusive ‘what if’ thoughts taking over?
Do you notice a physical response to certain situations or events (heart rate increasing, stomach hurting, sweaty palms, etc.)?
Do you keep yourself so busy that you don’t have time to slow down and let your thoughts catch up to you?
Maybe you answered yes to one of these questions, or maybe your anxiety presents in a different way. For children, anxiety tends to present as tearful or angry. They can be easy to cry, show regressive behaviors (like increased attachment to one parent or thumb sucking), and/or have outbursts that appear out of nowhere.
As we begin this conversation on anxiety, we will start exploring what triggers your anxiety. You need an old fashioned pencil and paper to do this properly. Not a computer, not a mental list, not in a phone app. Start off by writing down things that activate your worries. It may be a person, time of day, certain meeting, activity or even a random thought. Keep adding to the list as you notice your anxiety flare ups.
Next, and once again we are talking old fashioned pen to paper for this exercise, write or draw what you notice in your body when the anxiety appears. It can help to draw on an outline of a body what is happening to you when your anxiety takes over. For some people it can feel like racing and/or cyclical thoughts, heart palpitations, warm body, and/or dry mouth.
As I work with kids, these two activities could be something you do with your child to start the conversation around anxiety. This allows you to open that communication channel through a structured activity, while simultaneously destigmatizing anxiety. Anxiety is exhausting enough. Let’s work to keep shame out of the mix.
To recap:
Step 1: Write down things that trigger your anxiety.
Step 2: Write down or draw your body cues.
Time to face those fears together!
