ANXIETY # 3
In the last blog, I gave a tip on how kids can better understand and communicate their anxiety. Hopefully, this has led you and your child to having rich conversations around worries.
Another strategy that falls under the cognitive behavior umbrella, is reframing. Reframing is understood as identifying then rewording intrusive thoughts that may lead to an increase in worried feelings. Reframing can be as simple as changing the thought “I can’t do this” to “I can’t do this YET”. It requires one to recognize the automatic thoughts that pop up during times of stress. Then, one has to identify if it is a helpful thought or unhelpful thought. Finally, if it is an unhelpful thought, or increases the level of worry, the individual has to actively change the thought.
This is most helpful for older adolescents who show the capacity for self-reflection, awareness, impulse control, and metacognition.
Another strategy is examining the evidence, which requires one to notice when their anxiety is growing, and look around to see if what spinning worries they are feeling are grounded in reality.
Let’s take these two concepts and apply them to the example from Part 2 about the boy with panic attacks during school presentations. When it is almost his turn to speak, the boy may notice he starts thinking “everyone will laugh at me” and “I’m going to do so bad”. He recognizes these thoughts are intensifying his worry. He starts reframing his thoughts and telling himself “I am well prepared and will give a good presentation.” He tells himself this multiple times. After a while, he notices that he is still worried, but he has not gone into a full blown panic attack, as he has in the past.
During his reframing activity, the child may also start to look around the room. He may notice that other kids are barely paying attention to the presenter because they look nervous about their own speech. He also notices that no one has laughed at any of his other classmates’ who went, and some of them seemed really afraid. When he’s examining the evidence, he debunks the idea that people will laugh at him. He also thinks back to other times he has presented in school, and he remembers always passing the class. He has never gotten a bad grade or a talking to, so he is able to debunk that thought that he is going to do bad. With these two intentional strategies, the kid is able to face his fears with more confidence and self-efficacy. The more he is faced with public speaking, the more he will be able to shrink this fear.
Reframing and examining the evidence take increased effort and awareness. They require an individual to be self-motivated to feel better and have the executive functioning skills to understand/implement these strategies. They may not be as effective for kids who also struggle with impulse control, anger outbursts, or are in early elementary school. Kids who are younger and struggle with anxiety benefit from co-regulating with adults and processing their feelings through play.
Interventions and strategies need to match the kid’s ability level and specific needs.
If this is a little above your kids developmental level, maybe these strategies are best used by you, as the parent, when faced with anxiety-provoking situations! Kids are always learning and modeling. Being able to demonstrate healthy mechanisms for addressing anxiety can vastly benefit you, your family, and your anxious child in the long and short term.
Don’t let Anxiety run your life 🙂
Bryanna
