ANXIETY #4

Welcome back for Anxiety Part 4! I initially envisioned my Anxiety blogs ending here. After much consideration, I decided to extend the anxiety-theme for one more week. There are just too many good things to share. For today’s session, we are going to talk about body awareness and intentional using of calming strategies. 

Last post, we talked about cognitive-based strategies. This week we are going to talk about behavioral-based strategies. The first one is rooted in mindfulness. This catch-all term has been used a lot in the last few years. Some of you may even dismiss the practice or be really excited around it, depending on your own experiences with mindfulness. I like the way Dr. Seth Gillihan approaches mindfulness in his Book “Mindful CBT” and his talk on “The Psychology Podcast” with Dr. Scott Kaufman. Dr. Gillihan uses the phrase “Think Act Be.” He also states that misalignment and discomfort are part of the human experience. When this happens, one should start by simply breathing. Then, ask themself “What do I need?”. Finally, one should choose to act in a way that brings alignment. There is a lot to unpack there, and these are some abstract ideas that are not quite developmentally appropriate for kids.

Let’s break it down and make it kid-friendly. First, kids, who are struggling with anxiety, need to recognize when they are experiencing the anxiety. For this step, the kid needs to know what anxiety is, what triggers their anxiety, and how anxiety feels in their body. They can pull from the first post to be more vigilant during already identified, possible anxiety-provoking situations. When anxiety creeps in, they identify they are experiencing discomfort and express it. As a caregiver, you can also recognize and identify it for them. “Hey son. I notice you are clenching your jaw and tapping your leg. I think you are feeling anxious.”

Second, cue a mindful breath. You have to know your child for this second step. Some children are okay with parents saying “Okay, let’s breathe together.” For others, this may trigger them more. Instead, as the parent, just start taking deep breaths, slow and intentional. 

Third, after engaging in some breathing, ask them what they need. If they are really anxious, it may be more helpful to say “Do you need a fidget or a break?” When anxiety takes over, decisions are harder to make. Again, you need to know your kid! Kids' disposition and communication skills greatly come into play here. 

Finally, work to help them choose activities that help them feel better. Kids oftentimes know at least 1-3 coping skills. Some of the classics are belly breaths, taking a break, playing with a fidget, and/or talking with a trusted adult. The hard thing is using the skill in the moment. Remember the importance of modeling from last week? As the caregiver, be sure you verbalize when you are overwhelmed and need to use a calm down skill. This normalizes the process and encourages children to follow your lead!

Remember: body awareness and intentional use of coping skills can help reduce anxiety feelings in the body!

Come back next week to hear about effective therapeutic approaches!
Bryanna